...

A guy walks into the doctor's office.

He says, "doc, I've got some really disconcerting symptoms. They're kind of embarassing."

Doctor says, "I've seen it all, lay it on me!

"Well, for starters, I've got these blisters on my shoulders, and they get really itchy, but when I went to scratch one the other day it began oozing what seemed like molten lava."

"I see. Have you spoken to your hematologist about this?"

"I did, yes. I even confronted my bloodwork directly for a second opinion."

"Eccentric, but not unheard of. What did the plasma tell you?"

"It didn't respond. I don't think it heard me."

Doctor: "Oh no. This could be very bad. Let me run some diagnostics."

The doctor hits the patient's knee with a little reflex hammer, shines a flashlight in his mouth, and puts a stethoscope up to his breastplate. He then tells the patient the bad news, to which the patient responds: "oh no, oppositional defiant disorder! What's my prognosis doc?"

The doctor says: "Ah. You may have misheard me. I said `hot puss, itch, and all deaf ion disorder.