So, I recently took the 16 personalities again, for the first time in quite a while. There's a lot to unpack here. First of all, I've changed: significantly so.
Here are the exact numbers:
- Introverted - 64%
- Intuitive - 64%
- Thinking - 51%
- Judging - 53%
- Asertive - 71%
I used to take this test routinely, and I would consistently be typed as an ENFP. In the past, I typically scored borderline on the introverted vs. extroverted scale: I was a slight extrovert (about 51%). I had considered myself an "introverted extrovert;" now, there is a difference between an introverted extrovert and an extroverted introvert. An introverted extrovert prefers social company and is energized by it, (s)he will typically avoid oversocializing as it would be too stimulating, and so would spend a lot of time in isolation to withdraw and reflect. Meanwhile, an extroverted introvert is recharged by solitude, and prefers it to partying and the like, but will frequently venture outside his or her comfort zone as a challenge.
As for intuitive, I've always been that way. I prefer the abstract, the big ideas, etc. to tiny details. I have noticed, too, that there is a discrimination against us types: many job applications, for instance, will provide personality tests, and they specifically screen out anyone who isn't "detail-oriented." Ouch. As much as I've tried to become more practical (moving from an interest in pure theory to one of experiment, and focusing on my lived experiences), I am just stuck in my ways it seems.
It seems I am just a hair shy of being a feeler. Ultimately, I think emotion and reason are both equally important, and I can oftentimes not really make a clear distinction. So, this makes sense. Then, there is judging. This is an interesting one. I don't really keep a set schedule or plan things ahead of time, but I am careful of the people I let into my life, and so I am conservative in that regard. Now, this isn't to say I don't prefer to have meticulous plans: it's just that I am too lazy to make them myself. But, when I was in school, for instance, the sense of routine greatly helped me to stay focused and organized, and I am kind of going crazy without that. I guess, ultimately, if I do something, I have to have a really good reason for doing it, and if I can't justify taking a certain action, then it doesn't get added to mental to-do list, and so it doesn't get done.
Lastly, we have assertive. I am typically an optimist; my mind never goes to the worst case scenario. Even if I think something is the worst case, there is always something even more catastrophic that I failed to consider. I guess this is intimately tied in with my faith and spirituality: I believe that in the grand scheme of things, everything happens for the correct reason. God's plan is imperfect, you know.
It is interesting to see that there are measurable diffences in who I am now vs. who I was 5 years ago. In many ways, I even feel completely different. That is for better and for worse. The better is that I am now (somewhat) more disciplined than I was at 18, definitely less prone to mood swings and erradic emotions. However, I feel like when I was a teenager, things were a lot simpler. I yearn for that simplicity. It used to be so easy to smile and wave, to strike a conversation with a stranger, to make friends, etc. Now, I have to calculate the risks of every action I take. Things are much more serious, much more somber, and unshakeably so.
The question is, would I give up who I am today for who I was as a teenager? I'm not sure. While I would like to believe that I have a keener discernment, have grown wiser, blah blah blah, I'm not sure if the evidence actually supports that. For starters, I have a compulsive addiction to nicotine. I am no longer politically involved in my community (I am now focusing on my family, perhaps in too much an exclusionary way), I have significantly less serendipity in my life (which comforts me), etc. It is a truism to say so, but there are upsides and downsides to the changes. Perhaps the most surprising though, is that I have an unimaginably rich dream world, and I spend a lot of time there. When I was a teenager, I'd have vivid dreams every once in a while, but now it is every single night. I enjoy them greatly, but I do wonder if it is hampering my ability to enjoy the actual world. And, I do make a distinction between actual and real; my dreams, thoughts, and SpongeBob SquarePants are no less real to me than the birds that sit atop the powerline outside my home incessantly chirping each morning.